Wednesday, 26 October 2011

Relationships - Strength or weakness?

Baba Gyani Triviani said:
"Relationships are like friction - a necessary evil"

Man is a social animal - one of the most cliched phrases. However, it is a fact. We live in a society. We bond with people, we have circles of friends, we have interactions with people in schools and colleges, at work, with neighbours and with random strangers. Some of these bonds are close and some are not so close, but bonds do form. Over a period of time, comfort levels increase with people with whom you interact a lot.

This is specially true with people who move away from friends and family, especially for their higher studies or work. People normally fly to the US or to Europe or Singapore or Australia, and then end up talking to their parents and friends quite regularly. They repeatedly say that they miss their friends and family, and end up being quite lonely there. Why does this loneliness creep in? And when they meet their friends and family, they feel great again. Why?

Bonds with people is very important for man. With various psychological and other branches of psychoanalysis, with experiments with monkeys and the like, scientists have shown that the behaviour of monkeys is extremely bad and unstable when they didn't have contact with the mother, and shows that a fake mother monkey made of cloth is better than a fake monkey of wire, because the baby can touch and feel better with cloth, but not with the wire. Therefore, contact and touch is important. And when you talk to people, it is better. You feel lighter when you share your sorrows, you can laugh and feel better and so on. Thus, it is normally believed that, relationships are very important for a wholesome growth of a human being.

However, there is a downside to it as well. Monks and secret agents normally don't have families. The reason for this is that, the same families that can be a great support for you during your sad moments can act as heavy baggage when you want to do something radical. A simple example would be when you want to do something totally radical like quit your work tomorrow and go start your own company. People with families normally will think a hundred times, for they have dependants. What will I do about by children's school? What will I tell my wife? What about my parents' hospital bills? But a guy who has no dependants will follow his heart. His shenanigans affect none but him. The repercussions are solely to be faced by him.

You may have watched various movies where there is an upright cop who wants to teach a lesson to the bad old villains. He goes into their lair and kicks their butts. But then, the villain brings the hero to his knees by kidnapping his old mother/girl friend/sister/brother's kid and threatens to kill/rape/rape/kill them respectively. The hero then is either forced to do something against his will or in some movies driven to a rage where he ends up decimating the villain, but that's digressing. The point being that relationships in these cases end up being weaknesses.

This post is totally random - I was just thinking how relationships are... The nature of relationships is such that a bond is formed. The bond is good in many ways, but the word bond itself indicates that you are bound by it, chained, thereby limiting the things you can do. Some times, you may be forced to break bonds and go beyond, or sometimes believe that these bonds are better than being alone. Which is true? It is purely subjective.

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