Saturday, 23 July 2011

Annoying Collaborators

Swami Nikhilaananda said:
"He who sugarcoats, sugarcoats for a reason"

This has happened not once, not twice... Ok, don't ask me how many times this has happened, for I have lost count. And the problem is, it happens a lot. Either I have gullible sucker written on my forehead, or .... well, it's got to be the gullible sucker thing.

The other day, I had been to a mall with a friend of mine, and while I was waiting till my friend got back from a shop, this gentleman who was waiting for his friend to get back decided to begin a conversation with me just to pass time, till they got back. I was getting bored waiting, and so decided to listen to what he was saying. This man spoke very polished English, seemed sophisticated and smart. He began by talking about the weather and traffic, and later told me what he was doing and asked me what I was doing. He told me that he was working at Honeywell. You might be wondering how long this conversation must have lasted - not over five minutes. He then said that we must stay in touch and asked me for my phone number... Now this is the place where it gets awkward, because I didn't want to say "I don't give my number out to strangers" (An attitude I am now going to change) and so I gave him my number. He gave me a missed call, and I didn't save it. Who cares? Right? My friend came along and asked me who he was, as he went away with his friend, giving me a cheerful wave. I said, "I have no clue, some guy I saw" and I was looking at the "How long was I gone?" expression.

Well, soon enough, as expected, I got a phone call from him two days later. He reminded me that he was the guy I met in the mall, and I said "Oh yeah..." He then said "So, basically the reason I wanted to get in touch with you is because I am doing a business apart from my regular work, along with some friends of mine who are from IITs and IIMs. We are looking for some really bright, intelligent and enterprising people to collaborate with us on this, so that we can improve people relations [insert loads of more blah blah] and that really adds a lot to the regular income. You seemed like a really smart and enterprising guy, so I was wondering if you might be interested to join us"

My brain analysed this as:
Ok, he is flattering me - meaning, it is something unpleasant, and is definitely a trick somewhere. He judged me to be really smart and enterprising in the five minute conversation that was about weather, traffic and companies. He used key words "IIT and IIM" just to add credibility. He used key words 'People Management' - and all of this adds up to...[drum roll] You guessed it - Amway and Ebiz.

So, these pyramid schemes are some of the most annoying things that exist. Suckers are pulled into it (ironic, considering they are suckers) all the time, and once they realise that they have been had, they try to look for more suckers. I quickly told him "Is this anything to do with Amway or Ebiz?" and he paused and said "Yeah, as a matter of fact, it is to do with Amway. Any particular reason that you are asking this?" and I said "Yeah, I am not interested, thank you" and he cut the call.

I have got so many calls from so many random people - they talk, take my number (which I continue to give for some freaking reason - Note to self: stop handing out number to strangers) and then they call up as if they called, you know, to just talk - and then they use the same rehearsed sentences. It's uncanny... Every single guy says "IIT, IIM, People Relationship, Smart, Enterprising, Collaborate, Business"

The next time someone calls me with this, I am definitely going to ask them if they seriously think that this ploy will ever work for them. As for you guys, don't fall for this. Just cut the call.

***
Comments from Facebook

Chiranth Ashok
Glad somebody finally said this... can't believe all those ppl from "iit" and "iim" fell for that though...

Prashanth Harshangi
Swami Gulugulu said - "He who pees, pees for a reason"

Poornima Rao
the name says it all.. CHRONICLES:P

Skanda Guruanand
Hey! I dont know if its the same guy. I also got a call today, infact for the 2nd time in the past few months. Same story of iits and iims.

Nikhil Baliga
Must be the same guy - I got a call today too, and so I decided to "Chronicle" it :)

Skanda Guruanand
Good :)

Poornima Rao
look him up on FB and see if there is MARK AS SPAM option next to him:P

Nikhil Baliga
Haha, I would - Too bad I didn't listen to his name this time either.

Mithun Shroff
Its happened to me too..! I'm sure there are a lotta people who can relate to this..

P.S: I really like your writing style.. You should contemplate on writing a small story or a book (if you haven't already)

Nikhil Baliga
Thanks a lot Mithun :)

Madhura Basavaraju
enjoyed reading this :)

Amod Kumar Pandey
Poor you! But don't share your number like that.

Susheela Sadashivaiah
general impt gyaan..well written :)

Mahesh Saka
hehe, well written.. but good that you've realized those quickly.. I was almost into when I could just prevent that happening :)
and, yes, share mobile no. with them, but not yours, your enemy's ;)

Nikhil Anand
i never said tht ..i said "She who sugarcoats, sugarcoats for no reason"..:P:P:P

Nikhil Baliga
hahahahaha :D Nikhil Anand, what a coincidence :P


Goutham Kamath 
I have a long and funny story abt EBiz, the guy who approached me never talks to me now

Nikhil Baliga 
Haha seriously man, it is horrible when your friends or relatives come up to you... It becomes really awkward. And do share your story

Deepak Nayak 
Nikhil Baliga did some known person approach u for any of the mentioned products?

Sandeep Shet 
Lol.. It happens to me all the time too  Once you get to know the "modus operandi" you will know for sure that they will ask for your number. Politely say "I don't share share my number with strangers, nothing personal", and don't forget to ask if they are from the Amway business and watch their faces, the few seconds of their expression are worth watching

Mithun Shroff 
Include Qnet in your list too..! I've got fed up with all those "meetings"..!

Niyaz Puzhikkunnath 
You gave your number to a "stranger in the mall" and it turned out to be a poor Amway guy? Be glad... I thought he was hitting on you, which BTW does happen a lot in Bangalore.

Anyway, if you are interested, I have a good business opportunity to discuss with you...

Nikhil Baliga 
@niyaz hahahaha

Aditya Kiran 
I remember an episode of friends, where chandler and monica get fake numbered... that seems a socially acceptable non rude effective way to wiggle out of these situations, don't ya think?

Sandeep Shet 
True.. but the other guy gives missed call then and there to check if u have given the right number, i mean to say to give u his number.  It will be really awkward if the other guy realizes that he is fake numbered. Isn't it more painful than blatantly refusing to give ur number?? Justsaying

Nikhil Baliga 
That's exactly why I don't give fake numbers :P

3 comments:

Adarsh said...

Don't think too much abt IIT or IIM'ians...because they are either big fools are the creators of them....

Niranjan said...

Haha :) Even I have got such calls twice. Next time give one stranger number to another stranger :D

Lokesh Acharya said...

I also have come across with these collaborators (!!)

1st time it was a school friend of mine. I was not even in touch with him for about 4 years.. dono from whom he got my number, he suddenly called once n told there's a wonderful opportunity n I must attend some seminar kinda stuff.. he also used the same words - "many IITians n IIM ppl , n achievers will come..."
Only after I attended that so called seminar, I came to know how badly I was fooled.. this was about "eBiz"
similar experience I had with "Amway" also.. :(